- Zach Moore, Zach Laws
- TV
Fox
Homer Simpson has been making us laugh from his very first “D’oh!” to his latest “Woo-hoo!” For more than three decades and counting, the ne’er do well patriarch of everyone’s favorite animated sitcom clan has had us rolling in the aisles with his outrageous howlers. So lets crack open a Duff beer and count down 25 of his funniest quotes from the 31 season run of “The Simpsons.”
Created by Matt Groening as a hasty drawing in the lobby of producer James L Brooks‘ office, “The Simpsons” first originated as short animated bumpers for “The Tracey Ullman Show.” Homer is voiced by former “Tracey Ullman Show” cast member Dan Castellaneta, who has won four Primetime Emmy Awards for his voice-over work.
Homer is ignorant, impulsive, quick to anger, and an alcoholic, but he is also loyal, he loves his kids, and he always makes the right choice by the end of the episode. He is the American everyman, with his dead-end job at the nuclear power plant, his house in the suburbs, his over-worked wife and 2.5 kids. It’s no wonder that Homer has become one of the most enduring and popular television characters of all time. Who hasn’t let out an angry “D’oh!” when they’ve stubbed their toe, or muttered “mmmmm… donuts” when biting into a delicious donut?
His quotes have wormed their way into our brains because they are as identifiable as they are hilarious. We’ve put together 25 of his funniest and most memorable quotes in a photo gallery, so check it out to see if your favorite made the list!
25. LISA THE SKEPTIC
Season 9, Episode 8
“Facts are meaningless. You can use facts to prove anything that’s even remotely true.”
24. SCENES FROM A CLASS STRUGGLE IN SPRINGFIELD
Season 7, Episode 14
“What’s the point of going out? We’re just going to wind up back here, anyway.”
23. SCENES FROM A CLASS STRUGGLE IN SPRINGFIELD
Season 7, Episode 14
See Also50 Hilarious "The Simpsons" Quotes110 The Simpsons Quotes on Love, Life, and Family35 Grandpa Simpson Quotes: Ramblings from ‘The Simpsons' Senior CitizenThe 25 Most Memorable Simpsons Quotes of All-Time“For once, maybe someone will call me ‘sir’
without adding, ‘you’re making a scene.'”22. C.E.D’OH
Season 14, Episode 15
“All my life, I’ve had one dream: to achieve my many goals.”
21. LOST OUR LISA
Season 9, Episode 24
“I’m not normally a praying man, but if you’re up there, please save me, Superman.”
20. COLONEL HOMER
Season 3, Episode 20
“It takes two to lie – one to lie and one to listen.”
19. BART SELLS HIS SOUL
Season 7, Episode 4
“Forty seconds? But I want it now!”
18. SECRETS OF A SUCCESSFUL MARRIAGE
Season 5, Episode 22
“Look Marge, you don’t know what it’s like — I’m the one out there every day putting his ass on the line. And I’m not out of order! You’re out of order! The whole freakin’ system is out of order! You want the truth? You want the truth?! You can’t HANDLE the truth! ‘Cause when you reach over and put your hand into a pile of goo that was your best friend’s face, you’ll know what to do! Forget it, Marge, it’s Chinatown!”
17. HOMER AND APU
Season 5, Episode 13
“I’ve learned that life is one crushing defeat after another until you just wish Flanders was dead.”
16. THE TELLTALE HEAD
Season 1, Episode 8
“A boy without mischief is like a bowling ball without a liquid center.”
15. MARGE VS. THE MONORAIL
Season 4, Episode 12
“Simpson! Homer Simpson! He’s the greatest guy in his-tor-y … from the town of Springfield! He’s about to hit a chestnut tree!”
14. THE SPRINGFIELD FILES
Season 7, Episode 10
“I saw this movie about a bus that had to speed around a city, keeping its speed over fifty, and if its speed dropped, it would explode! I think it was called, ‘The Bus That Couldn’t Slow Down.'”
13. MISSIONARY IMPOSSIBLE
Season 11, Episode 15
“If ‘The Flintstones’ has taught us anything, it’s that pelicans can be used to mix cement.”
12. TALES FROM THE PUBLIC DOMAIN
Season 13, Episode 14
“Overdue book? This is the biggest frame-up since OJ! Wait a minute. Blood in the Bronco. The cuts on his hands. Those Jay Leno monologues. Oh my god, he did it!”
11. CROOK AND LADDER
Season 18, Episode 19
“Oh, I have three kids and no money. Why can’t I have no kids and three money?”
10. TREEHOUSE OF HORROR VII
Season 8, Episode 10
“Don’t eat me. I have a wife and kids. Eat them.”
9. HOMIE THE CLOWN
Season 6, Episode 15
“That’s it! You people have stood in my way long enough. I’m going to clown college!”
8. GUESS WHO’S COMING TO CRITICIZE DINNER
Season 11, Episode 3
“If he’s so smart, how come he’s dead?”
7. SO IT’S COME TO THIS: A SIMPSONS CLIP SHOW
Season 4, Episode 18
“You couldn’t fool your mother on the foolingest day of your life, if you had an electrified fooling machine.”
6. THE PTA DISBANDS
Season 6, Episode 21
“Lisa, if you don’t like your job you don’t strike. You just go in every day and do it really half-assed. That’s the American way.”
5. REDNECKS AND BROOMSTICKS
Season 21, Episode 7
“Why do my actions have consequences?”
4. BOY SCOUTZ ‘N THE HOOD
Season 5, Episode 8
“Weaseling out of things is important to learn; it’s what separates us from the animals … except the weasel.”
3. HOMER VS. THE EIGHTEENTH AMENDMENT
Season 8, Episode 18
“To alcohol! The cause of … and solution to … all of life’s problems.”
2. BURNS’ HEIR
Season 5, Episode 18
“You tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is: never try!”
1. HOMER GOES TO COLLEGE
Season 5, Episode 3
“I am so smart! I am so smart! S-M-R-T … I mean S-M-A-R-T!”
